A Sprinkle of Grace
A Sprinkle of Grace was a Top 30 finalist for the 48th Annual Samuel French Off Off Broadway Short Play Festival in 2023 with Concord Theatricals.
by Eric Craft
Cast of Characters
HEATHER: 34. Jasmine’s sister.
CRYS: 25. Jasmine’s cousin.
IRENE: 57. Jasmine’s aunt.
LYN: 60. Jasmine’s mother.
BROOKE: 30. Jasmine’s best friend and maid of honor.
Place
A restaurant in North Jersey.
Time
Early Spring.
ACT I
SCENE 1
Setting: A table in a small private room of a restaurant.
At Rise: IRENE ties pink and white balloons while CRYS lays out a white tablecloth and hangs a banner on the chair of honor reading “BRIDE TO BE”. HEATHER stands DS.
HEATHER
(on her phone)
-so when you come up to the restaurant park in the little lot to the left of the entrance and you’ll see us from outside. We got the small private room by the bathrooms. It’s really nice, honestly. I was worried it would feel a bit big for a party of six but it’s basically a glorified booth in a weird corner. But that’s not to say its cramped…you’ll see when you get here. Have you heard from her? Our mom is still running late with the flowers. Okay that’s good. We’ll see you soon? Perfect! Byeeeee—
(She hangs up.)
God, she’s so fake.
CRYS
Was that the maid of honor?
HEATHER
Brooke. She’ll be here in five minutes.
IRENE
And your mother?
HEATHER
(Checking her phone)
She’s on 17, practically pulling up now.
IRENE
See? Heather and her mother get to track each other’s location.
CRYS
I don’t want you knowing where I am, Mom. It’s creepy.
IRENE
It’s a safety measure.
CRYS
How? If I get hurt, I will call you, and if I get kidnapped and trafficked or whatever, they’re not going to let me keep my phone anyway.
HEATHER
I only let mom track my location after I got married, because now I’m boring and it’s the only way to know where she is.
IRENE
Don’t you want to know where I am?
CRYS
I know your schedule.
(Enter LYN with a box of floral arrangements.)
LYN
Can you believe the flower shop is closed Sundays? I had to pick these up yesterday and they’re already dying.
(She places them on the table and hands them to CRYS.)
HEATHER
Hi mom.
LYN
Hi dear, I tried to change out the water and I kept them in the fridge, but the roses are so blown open. Hi Reenie.
IRENE
Hi Lyn.
HEATHER
I think they’ll be fine. They look beautiful.
LYN
Plus I specifically told them—
(to CRYS)
No dear, I have one for the gift table and the other two will split the center on the main table—I told them to not put anything in those plastic water tubes and they put all the orchids, which I specifically asked for, in water tubes!
CRYS
I don’t think we have a gift table.
LYN
We don’t?
HEATHER
I told you it was just going to be the five of us plus Jaz.
LYN
That’s hardly a bridal shower.
HEATHER
It’s a sprinkle, Mom. Jasmine said she didn’t want a big shower, so we decided to do a small surprise brunch with her immediate family…and maid of honor.
LYN
Who’s “we”?
HEATHER
Brooke and I—mostly Brooke—you know Jasmine. She doesn’t like big gatherings.
LYN
Crys, I guess then put the third arrangement by the bar, see if they want it.
CRYS
Okay…
(Exits out to the bar.)
LYN
I wish I knew that before I got these arrangements, they were a hundred-fifty each.
HEATHER
I didn’t tell you to get flowers.
LYN
We have to have flowers; it’s my daughter’s bridal shower.
HEATHER
It’s a sprinkle. A surprise sprinkle! Listen, mom, I don’t want to argue with you today. I actually have something exciting to tell you after this.
LYN
Is it that you saved money on all these decorations? What, did you go to Party City?
HEATHER
I went to Target, but how are balloons supposed to be expensive, mom? Explain that to me.
LYN
Are you leaving Bryan?
HEATHER
No—why would that be exciting? I’m—let’s wait for everyone to get here.
IRENE
Actually, while Crystal is out of the room, is she keeping something from me? I already know she’s a lesbian. What else can she be hiding?
HEATHER
She’s Bi, Irene.
IRENE
Right, but is she doing drugs or something?
HEATHER
I don’t know, she’s twenty-five, you have to ask her yourself.
LYN
She’s probably going to parties without telling you, and she does hang out with those artist types.
HEATHER
She is an illustrator living in New York; I really hope she is.
IRENE
What?!
HEATHER
Yes, I know how it sounds but I want my cousin to have fun while she’s in her twenties.
(CRYS and BROOKE enter with a round of Mimosas.)
BROOKE
Hi everybody!
CRYS
I met Brooke at the bar and the guy gave us free drinks as thanks for the flowers. Also because of the bridal shower.
IRENE
I hope you didn’t try to flirt with her, Crys.
CRYS
What the hell, Mom.
BROOKE
Crys and I actually became really fast friends!
HEATHER
Wow, first my sister and now my cousin, you’re really in the family now.
BROOKE
Thank you, Heather. I say we have a toast before Jas gets here?
HEATHER
Oh, well um, I would love to except I can’t drink today.
LYN
Wait, are you saying…?
HEATHER
I was going to wait until later tonight to tell you.
LYN
Honey, I’m so proud of you. Your father and I, we were worried, I’m not going to lie.
HEATHER
Why would you worry about that? We weren’t having any problems on that front.
LYN
Oh but dear, I know how much you tend to drink. I’m glad you were able to take a step away from it and get the help you need. Sobriety is not an easy journey.
HEATHER
I’m pregnant.
LYN
Oh!
HEATHER
Do you really think I have a drinking problem?
LYN
…nooooo…
IRENE
You do tend to hit it a little hard at every family gathering.
HEATHER
Gee, I can only wonder why.
LYN
You got blackout drunk last Easter.
HEATHER
I was with Bryan’s family last Easter.
LYN
And I still heard about it.
HEATHER
Are you even happy that I’m pregnant? You’re going to be a grandmother.
LYN
Of course! I’m absolutely thrilled for you both.
(A pregnant pause.)
HEATHER
But-?
LYN
But did you think your sister’s bridal shower was the appropriate time to break that?
HEATHER
OH MY GOD!
LYN
For a bridal shower, the day should be about her.
HEATHER
It. is. a. sprinkle!
CRYS
She’s only sharing this because the drinks came out and she couldn’t partake; I doubt it’s to steal the spotlight.
HEATHER
Thanks Crys.
CRYS
And I mean, what’s the big deal? You’ve been married three years and finally managed to buy a house, I thought we all saw this coming.
HEATHER
I’m glad we’re all excited.
BROOKE
Well, I think it’s wonderful! Congratulations, Heather. And I’m sure Jas will be beside herself when she hears she’s going to be an aunt.
HEATHER
I’m sorry, you think she’ll be angry?
BROOKE
No, like excited! That’s what that phrase means, right?
CRYS
Not usually.
BROOKE
Oh, in my family I think we only say that when we’re overcome with joy and excitement.
LYN
Is your family often overjoyed?
BROOKE
Of course, that’s what family is for, right? To celebrate and support each other.
HEATHER
Do you go on vacations with your family?
BROOKE
All twenty-six of us, every year! Last year was New Orleans and this year we’re going to Rome.
CRYS
Oh you, like, travel with them?
BROOKE
Do you guys not go on big family vacations to distant destinations? Where one person takes on lodging, another books reservations, and another plans day trips that keep everyone’s interests in mind?
IRENE
When was the last time we went on a vacation as a family?
LYN
I think we were both in high school and didn’t have rights yet.
HEATHER
Brooke, would you say logistics are your family’s love language?
BROOKE
I never thought about it that way, but I-I guess so, yes.
HEATHER
Well, it’s certainly not ours.
LYN
That’s not fair, I plan a perfect thanksgiving every year.
HEATHER
Sure. But none of us are allowed to have a single opinion.
LYN
You all contribute.
HEATHER
You instruct us on what to bring and how to prepare it. When Bryan brought a pumpkin pie without consulting you first, it didn’t get put out!
LYN
I didn’t have enough serving knives, plus I already had a pumpkin pie.
HEATHER
You bought it from Shoprite! Bryan made that pie from scratch using his great grandmother’s recipe!
LYN
You didn’t tell me that-
HEATHER
Yes I did! This is why I spend the holiday with his family now.
LYN
Oh I see, I’m the bad guy because I already had everything planned out while Bryan didn’t think to even send me a text—
HEATHER
-even if he did you wouldn’t have let him bring it anyway—
BROOKE
Maybe your family’s love language is honesty?! Like you all bicker and argue but you keep it real. You don’t keep your feelings secret from each other.
(They pause and look at her.)
CRYS
Well that’s not true at all. I have tons of secrets.
IRENE
I knew it! What are you hiding, Crys? Are you going to parties?
CRYS
Yes? I’m twenty-five and I live in the city.
IRENE
Is that why I’m not allowed to know where you are?
CRYS
I’m seeing someone.
IRENE
That’s wonderful! What’s her name?
CRYS
Adam.
IRENE
Wow, she must be a real butch.
CRYS
I’m dating a man!
IRENE
Wait, but you’re a…are you straight?
ALL(except Irene)
I’m/She’s bi!
IRENE
You’ve told me that.
CRYS
But you have never listened. I knew that if I was dating a man, you would forget I was queer. I am bisexual no matter who I am dating. Adam wants to meet you, and I told him I didn’t want that to happen.
BROOKE
Okay, maybe it’s not honesty.
HEATHER
What, Brooke, your family’s good at logistics but lying to each other left and right?
BROOKE
N-no, we tell each other everything. In fact, every third Saturday the women in my family have a wine and whine night where we gossip and vent to each other. Usually, we end up having really vulnerable, heartfelt conversations where we open up about what we want for ourselves, for our loved ones, and the world around us.
HEATHER
Are you indoctrinating my sister into a cult?
BROOKE
Excuse me?
LYN
Please, is brainwashing the only way you can imagine Jasmine choosing her best friend over her sister for maid of honor?
HEATHER
You don’t think it’s weird, mom?
LYN
Irene wasn’t my maid of honor.
HEATHER
She was in jail when you got married.
IRENE
You know about that?!
(to CRYS)
Is that why you don’t want me to meet Adam?
CRYS
No, that’s the coolest thing about you.
IRENE
Then does the normal me just embarrass you that much?
CRYS
A little bit, yeah.
IRENE
Crys-
HEATHER
What the hell, why would you say that?
CRYS
Like you speak to your mother with so much grace.
LYN
But she doesn’t find me embarrassing.
HEATHER
I do, let’s not get it twisted.
IRENE
Are you worried I won’t like Adam? I’m not like my sister, speaking ill of her now son-in-law even though Bryan’s been around for eight years.
LYN
I don’t speak ill of Bryan!
HEATHER
Yes you do! Are you high?
LYN
Heather Grace I swear to God if you try to make a scene in this restaurant-!
HEATHER
Don’t “Heather Grace” me, I am thirty-four years old and three months pregnant—
IRENE
I have been nothing but supportive of you and your alternative lifestyle-you know what I mean! The Ls and the Gs and the BTs?
CRYS
Supportive? Mom. Alternative? Are you kidding?! If you could spend one afternoon maybe reading a book—
(BROOKE, all smiles until now, breaks.)
BROOKE
WILL YOU GUYS STOP!? Heather, really. I have been Jasmine’s best friend since college. You don’t think I know all about this? The bickering and secrets and the screaming matches? This behavior here is why Jasmine asked me to be her maid of honor instead of you. Yes, sure, my family is weird. Really weird. When we show up at Disney World in matching t-shirts the number of people who talk to us assuming we’re religious extremists is…frankly unsettling. But for whatever reason, we all get along. We enjoy spending time with each other and make it a priority. And that’s something Jasmine wants for herself. You know she wanted a destination wedding at first? She showed me all her wedding boards with photos of Hawaii and the Bahamas, and then she remembered who her family was. She turned to me and said, “I’m insane, I can’t even get them all together for dinner at my apartment.” So now her wedding will be at the whatever Manor Banquet Inn in Bergen County. Because you guys can’t do anything right by each other.
(Heather’s phone rings.)
HEATHER
Shit, it’s Jaz.
(answering the phone)
Hey Jaz. We’re all here at…my home. Just me and Bryan. What’s up?
(pauses, gasps, looks at the others)
Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I’m gonna kill him, that absolute—What? No, no no, don’t you worry about the bookings and the deposits, that doesn’t matter right now. Your big sister can get all that money back, don’t you worry. Do you need me to pick you up? You’re going to see…? Right,
sorry. That’s good that your about to see Brooke. But you know, she’s…a good friend. She’s definitely looking out for you. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you? Okay, I’ll see you soon.
(She hangs up.)
HEATHER(cont.)
Alan broke it off.
(To Brooke)
And Jasmine called me first.
LYN
Crys, donate the other two arrangements to the bar. Irene, do you have your knife?
IRENE
(pulling out a knife)
Do I have my knife?
(She begins popping the balloons. CRYS strikes the arrangements. HEATHER tears the “Bride to Be” sign.)
BROOKE
(to Heather)
I’m sorry, I didn’t—
HEATHER
Don’t be. Honestly, I was kind of impressed. We’re all “Jersey mean” and you’re “California mean”, and I can respect that.
BROOKE
But I’m from Ohio.
HEATHER
And the Banquet Manor Inn has the best goddamn cheesecake in the Northeast, so I guess we’re both way off base with our assumptions, huh?
LYN
Oh I can’t believe I ever liked that Alan! Good thing you’re pregnant, now Jasmine can have some good news.
HEATHER
Glad to be of service.
LYN
I can’t wait to meet my granddaughter, or grandson.
HEATHER
Let’s be real, mom. I’m having a girl.
BROOKE
I think I know what your family’s love language is.
CRYS
Yeah?
BROOKE
It’s not logistics or honesty or anything like that. I think you guys love each other through your anger?
LYN
Anger…I like that.
IRENE
Oh, you never met our mother. She was a force of nature.
HEATHER
My grandmother, Grace, was an explosive woman.
(BROOKE checks her phone.)
BROOKE
She’s here.
(They all look out and see Jasmine.)
ALL
Surprise!
END OF PLAY